December 21
3:56AM-4:52AM
Am so excited that i'll be boarding plane soon! I head up to the ticket counters, which are swamped even at this time.
4:56AM
Gleefully hand over ID an bounce expectantly in place waiting for boarding pass.
4:58AM
Still waiting. Counter girl frowns. PLEASE DON'T FROWN. She cannot see that i have a booked flight for the day. Informed her of everything that had occured in the last 5 hours.
5:00AM
She found my ticket. It is for 6:50AM SATURDAY. The jackass from this morning told me the wrong date in his anxiety to get to his break. Sonuvabitch. Counter girl hands me a stand by ticket and suggests that i go see if i can make my way onto the flight.
5:01AM
Restrain myself from using telekinetic powers of the mind to rip girl limb from limb.
5:02AM
Get back into security line for the 5th time in a 24hr period.
5:15AM
Get pulled aside for full scanning FOR THE THIRD TIME. ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDDING ME?! DO I LOOK LIKE A TERRORIST TO YOU? WHEN DID I HAVE TIME TO PICK UP CONTRABAND WHEN I HAVEN'T LEFT THE DAMN AIRPORT IN 24 HOURS.
5:20AM
Guards notice my displeasure and attempt to reassure me by explaining what it is they are going to do to me and that i was selected randomly. YOU MEAN I WAS RANDOMLY SELECTED TO BE GROPED 3 TIMES TODAY? OH AREN'T I THE LUCKY GIRL.
6:50AM
Flight is full. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200 dollars.
I quit.
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1 comment:
Lyannie, as much as I truly enjoy reading your blog, you can't imagine the sadness I feel that you have not been able to make it home!
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