I hate IKEA

At this point even my bruises have bruises. Moving day number 2 begins well enough. I've managed to break down every single box in the room and have organized my books to my satisfaction. I love doing my bookshelves. The dvd rack took me a bit longer since every movie had to be put in alphabetical order and divided by genre. Just kidding. They are alphabetical though. My box sets no longer fit with the rest of the dvds and now occupy a stack of milk crates. I need to buy a new tower tomorrow.

And then i turned my energy to the lone Ikea box sitting silently in the center of the room. It seemed easy enough. One measly little box wasn't going to scare me oh no it was not. I circled it a few minutes and wished my daddy had come to Boston to put the thing together but he, the punk, followed momma back to Florida. So i sat next to the box with my trusty new tool chest and proceeded to cut the box open. OH MY GOD there were 50 seperate pieces of wood in there with a large baggie of little metal thingies and instructions written in every language except english! My roommate Kevin laughed and came to check on me when i howled. He picked up the paper and read the directions aloud. That was when i realized the instruction booklet was written in MALE. I don't read MALE. I speak and understand it on occasion but i sure as hell don't read it. Luckily the instructions came in picture form on a different sheet.

Kevin wandered off to clean our shared bathroom. He scrubbed everything down including the medicine cabinet and informed me that i could put stuff away in there and that we should decide what colors we want our bathroom to be. It was a strangely domestic conversation.

I began putting my 3 drawer dresser together at noon. 5 hours later i had a very sturdy piece of furniture with drawers that held up, didn't fall out, and opened smoothly.

As i raised my arms into the air to proclaim my victory the hammer slipped out of my hand and clawside down, banged the top of my dresser. 1 minute old and the dresser is now sporting a WOUND.

I nearly cried.